an excavation of values

So why am I here, in Korea? I came specifically to get out of my stagnant mindset and expose mySelf to a different frame. Success so far has been partial; I am in a different physical and cultural environment. The altered linguistic environment has almost no practical bearing on me due to my inability to communicate effectively in Korean at this stage. however, the necessity of using simple speech limits conversation - and therefore expression of self - to and unpredicted degree. But that's by the by.
I came here because i felt trapped and sluggish. Mired. My expreicence of life was, and remains, muddy. This excursion to Korea was essential an attempt to swirl and rinse this mud from my perceptions. Now I know and can express that what I want is a more intense experience of theworld without resorting to the pathetic pedantic emotional dramas that keep the majority of people entertained. That became not-an-option years ago; what I needed and still seek is an alternative.
Buddhism and the Tao preach on one- and nothing-ness. I question the value of emptiness and divine self-knowledge in this form. I recant my adherence to "the Way".
Once again, shamanism springs to the fore; the pursuit of knowledge through the aggressive clearing of all bonds and ties; the pursuit of freedom with Fear and Death as close companions for most of the ride; Love coming only at the end.
It's time for a new experience. A fuller experience. Time to be a fool again and step off the edge of reason and mysticsm and into mystery. Time to leave the herd behind and be the first lemming off the cliff.
I don't know what shape this is going to take. Oh well. Wish me luck.