back-iddy back

All right. The Beijing tour was "worthwhile", except it turns out I lost my greenstone neckace thingy which is a bit of a bummer. I was quite attached to it. But yeah, on the whole it was easily worth the money and the time (And the cost of a spiritual token). It was made up entirely of teachers my age, around about 40 of us in all. Some of them were quite clicky on account of having been here a while and also hanging around in the same local community. A lot of making friends here seems to be about where you're physically located. This hit home to me on Sunday when I failed to get to Migliore by bus (again) and I realised that it took me 1/2 and hour to not get to where i wanted to go. Discouraged, I caught a taxi home and spent the rest of the arvo in a PCbang.
Bt the trip: right, here's the itinerary:
Landed Beijing at 1pm (beautiful sunshine 27degs) went to see the Temple of Heaven (a bit disappointing) and had our first taste of hawkers - pretty freaky. It's bizarre how insistent and persistent these cats are - you'd think that if i didn't want a t-shirt from that guy, I'm not gonna want one from you but they do not think that way at all, no sir. Anyway, after the TOH we went to dinner at this cool restaurant which had dancers all up around the tables and shit and 60c beers, all lazy susan foods - was a real cool scene. From there onto the Shaolin-Monks "Story of Kung-Fu". Better show than when I saw it Welly (sorry Todd) bt still non-plussed by their "breaking stuff over the head" routine.
Next days was Tiananmen Square where I was too scared to get a photo of me in front of a cop car; then the Forbidden Palace, to which i had to find my own way after being deserted by the group while looking for someone else. FP was a pretty cool: gate, courtyard, gate, courtyard, gate etc..... and then you're out. Chinese people have this fascination with big tall gates everywhere, TOH was ful of em. From FP to the Summer Palace. It was nice and we rode a boat across a lake.
I think I might have forgotten something and I don't feel like writing here anymore. Maybe put the rest in later. Bye!

blah blah

Nothing mych exciting happening here. Oh, I'm off to beijing for the weekend this weekend with a happy tour group so hopefully tha will generate some action.
Life is pretty much: work, gym, lunch, nap, work, sleep x5 then get up, go shoppping, hang out at home, go out drinking stay around home all sunday. It's kinda lame and it's getting me down. I really need to make some real friends but i'm so damn picky. And there really isn't that much to do! It's bizarre. Koreans have no life.
Now that i'm over the initial feelings of dislocation, I feel just the same mood as when i was in wellington. The only thing that keeps me here is the same thig that kept me there - sticky feet and the knowledge that things are the same everywhere. YAWN.
What a depressing thought. I think i'm hitting my 3-month "hate-everything" phase that so many people have warned me about. What i really need it to get laid, i think. Oh well.

an excavation of values

So why am I here, in Korea? I came specifically to get out of my stagnant mindset and expose mySelf to a different frame. Success so far has been partial; I am in a different physical and cultural environment. The altered linguistic environment has almost no practical bearing on me due to my inability to communicate effectively in Korean at this stage. however, the necessity of using simple speech limits conversation - and therefore expression of self - to and unpredicted degree. But that's by the by.
I came here because i felt trapped and sluggish. Mired. My expreicence of life was, and remains, muddy. This excursion to Korea was essential an attempt to swirl and rinse this mud from my perceptions. Now I know and can express that what I want is a more intense experience of theworld without resorting to the pathetic pedantic emotional dramas that keep the majority of people entertained. That became not-an-option years ago; what I needed and still seek is an alternative.
Buddhism and the Tao preach on one- and nothing-ness. I question the value of emptiness and divine self-knowledge in this form. I recant my adherence to "the Way".
Once again, shamanism springs to the fore; the pursuit of knowledge through the aggressive clearing of all bonds and ties; the pursuit of freedom with Fear and Death as close companions for most of the ride; Love coming only at the end.
It's time for a new experience. A fuller experience. Time to be a fool again and step off the edge of reason and mysticsm and into mystery. Time to leave the herd behind and be the first lemming off the cliff.
I don't know what shape this is going to take. Oh well. Wish me luck.