Friday, May 27, 2005

on love and attachment

To love something too much can bring madness. What about the love and attachment to non-attachement?

dave is here

And in spite of this I'm using this time to make an entry on this blog just because I feel like it.

Updates, then:

Wisdom Teeth

This whole week I have had wisdom tooth trouble. I wonder if it's related to the full moon. So I've been eating solely on the right side of my mouth and trying to avoid the kinds of food that can get stuck down behind an inflamed gum and require a probing finger to excavate. It's an easy thing to forget unfortunately, and the Apriocot and Macadamia bar I ate on Thursday certainly gave me cause to curse my non-attentiveness. How interesting Glenn, please tell us more.
Well, it was interesting when I was thinking about it the other day. Luck y I can type so fast or I'd get too bored to type anything at all.

My first dream of Korea
One month until I leave for Korea. Now it is starting to seem real, although until the ticket is booked and my bags are packed I still won't belive it. But anyway, this dream:
I am in a flat, the feeling is of a sunny suburban sort of environment. I'm being shown to my room which I share with some guy who appears to be hungover and in bed. It seems to be about noon on a Saturday. there is a big pair of bright yellow shades on the dresser. I drop my stuff and something hits the guys in the nuts and he whimpers.
I go outside onto the front lawn with the guy who is showing me around and settle down to drink some beer. On the lawn is a hospo-template character acting like a hospo worker emjoying beer in the sun on a day off. He is being a little loutish, calling over to a friend walking past. The mood is warm and friendly. I go around behind the house and soon I can hear an angry middle-aged korean man arresting people and sending the home for behaving irresponsibly. When I walk around to the front door he looks harried as though he doesn't really want to expel us but his responsibility dictates that he must. So he kicks me out of the country and I wake up with a slightly pounding heart.

Going to Korea certainly seems to becoming a real thing to my subconscious, at least.

I drank too much
Gawd, too much beer. I've got to stick to gin and vodka I think. Felt shitty for a serious portion of the morning and only after a cup of tea around 11 and getting my ass to the gym at 12 really made me feel better. I worked quite hard, although I still think my weights are too little. Actually, judging by the pain in my shoulders as I type this perhaps things are OK.
More pain: Todd gave me a dead leg last night. What a dick. I suppose I could have avoided it but I'm too lazy for that. I guess I like being hit sometimes.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

open for business

So howdy howdy. I opened my big mouth this weekend and intimated to my dear friend Vanita (hello, V!) that I have a blog. She was dutifully mortified that I had kept this secret from her so I have dutifully supplied her with the link.
Of course, now I've changed it again because I'm afraid to commit. It's a big decision, choosing your url, not to be taken lightly. Time will tell if this one will keep. I doubt it.
There's a conflict (isn't there always?) between choosing a name that has some deep, true meaning and maintaining a more, I don't know, lofty aloofness? That'll do. So, yeah.

Side: frikkin clone wars is on and it's distracting me through the door. The dialogue and story injure me. I am flayed with a candy sheepskin by the schmaltzy emotional simplicity of this shit.
Boo hoo.

Anyway, I don't think I'm really ready to be tossing this link out like it's a weekly newsletter just yet. I think my idea was more to be dispatches from Mars. I've only been "working" on it to get practice writing and twiddle with the HTML a bit to make it look a little more like Suraya's page, which I like. Maybe it's ready for the consumption of others, maybe it isn't.

i got freaked out

Never happens! Getting a surprise is a surprise in itself. The story:
On Friday before this big reggae thing at the Bodega I strolled over to V’s and sampled with her and D her delightful grassy supplies. A new strain is always a bit of a mind-fuck and this one was no different. Normally when I get blazed the whole complex burns down but this time I was burning up and felt riding high in the saddle and proclaiming and all ra-de-ra, if you take my gibberal meaning. Confidence is what is was, I guess as opposed to the old turning-inside and debating/doubting the meaning of every piece of data I receive.
So it was a bit of a shock to step out of the cab on Ghuznee and be ambushed by such a diabolical introduction as to render me completely speechless, awestruck and even a little terrified. While D and V made hello-noises to some other cats, this woman, I forget her name, made some very purposeful eye-contact at me and then pounced with such an onslaught of fantastical erotically charged badinage (on the nature of being a whip-cracking fine-collecting librarian or some such ~~quiver~~) that I could feel myself shrinking before what was at once my fantasy and nightmare. The problem was context and the fact that she was with a work colleague who had some shared concept of what she was on about. Too much going for me to competently put a word in for fear that I’d say something that doesn’t belong in that context and so, discretion being the better part of valour, I demurred and bolted with some weak-ass excuse. I considered just fleeing as soon as her attention was engaged elsewhere but that would have been still worse. On the whole though, the experience was enjoyable, even though I feel that I let myself down a bit. Oh well.
It’s all well and good to have guts, but part of using them is knowing what it is you want to use them for. I get so confused!
Name:
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

I like to say things I don't mean.